Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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