I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
this is an emotional support booty call
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
