I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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