I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
