If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
