All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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