So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
