I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
