Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
