i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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