Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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