Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
