you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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