I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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