I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is this the sara with the beer cane?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
