Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
