Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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