there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
