question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
