Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
