Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
