I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
