The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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