Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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