Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Two words: nipple clamps
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