I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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