It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
