Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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