i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
