I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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