It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
