You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
