On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
