actually, I'm a sock model
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can I color on your dick again?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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