So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
