Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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