You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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