I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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