Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
