Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this boner is exhausting
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
