you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
