Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
