I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
