Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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