Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
