I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
