And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
