Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
