when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
