last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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